I received my undergraduate degree in Biology.  More specifically, I studied Biotechnology & Genetics.  It’s a subject that I still love but it took me my entire BS degree to figure out that I absolutely hated doing it.  It finally dawned on me my first semester in graduate school that my least favorite part of all of my classes were the labs….ummm duh!…that would be what I would be really doing for a living.  Time for a course correction!

Anyway, the rest is as they say, history.  I taught myself software engineering and eventually went back to school for business administration years later.  Quite a strange combination, I know.  It took many years later for me to realize, but I came to understand that academic science and I were oil and water anyways.  Let me explain – what I really wanted to do is what I heard called result-oriented science…which is fancy way of saying that I was always an engineer…I wanted to create things, using science, to solve problems and make money – not just ask questions for the sake of asking questions.  For example, I could care less about the “Phylogenetic analysis of mitochondrial and nuclear sequences supports a close relationship between Acantholingua ohridana and Salmo salar” (in other words using genetics to trace how related different species of fish are…..yawn)….besides, where’s the money in that??

I was thinking recently about a problem that needs to be solved (for me anyway) and could make someone a lot of money.  OK, are you listening Monsanto?  Someone needs to spend research on inventing grass seed that grows in low water, high sunlight and high heat, can withstand frost and low temperatures, grows rapidly and then very very slowly after reaching 2 inches so it needs less mowing and naturally produces toxins for broadleaf plants and weeds.

Think about it, we’d all have more leisure time.  We would spend less money on gas for our mowers and we would spew less crap into the air (no I don’t care about the “global warming” aspect but the smell and the noise are not good so let’s knock it out if we can), we would use less water and pour fewer chemicals on our lawns.  I’m sure I’ve read about some companies (Scotts maybe) that have already started down this path – but not to the extent I’m talking about.  If the only things growing in my yard are weeds then why can’t we infuse those hardy properties into grass?

Would you use my “Franken-Grass” in your yard? MuHAHAHAHA It’s ALIVE!!!! LOL

I’m driving home from work last night and I’m in the proverbial stop-and-go traffic.  I’ve left work early and I’m heading for my son’s soccer game.  It’s a beautiful Carolina fall evening – high 80’s and a slight breeze.  Naturally, I’ve got the windows zipped down in the ol’ Jeep.  I turn on the radio and listen to some tunes.  I have to keep turning the volume up and down so that I can hear the music over the wind noise.  Whenever I come to a stop, I turn it down.

Why do I turn it down?

Well a couple of reasons I guess – my stereo isn’t that good so it just sounds distorted at high volumes and besides…it’s a Jeep…things tend to rattle and vibrate too much .  More importantly is common courtesy.  The other drivers around me don’t necessarily want to listen to the same music I am, right?

It never fails.

I always grab the shopping cart with the screwed up wheel and I always get stuck next to rolling subwoofer.

You know what I’m talking about.  It’s the car with the THX certified stereo system that’s worth more than the car it’s rolling in.

I suppose that it make sense…if your entire net worth is tied up in your car’s audio system, you feel compelled to use it.  By use it of course I mean operating it at a volume level so that whales in the Pacific are break-dancing to the beat due to the ELF induced signals your car is pumping out. We’re lucky that Snoop-dog over ELF doesn’t incite a nuclear missile launch from some submarine halfway around the world.

Some people dream of ordinary things they might buy if they were rich…big houses, nice cars…

Me?  If I had no end of funds, I would build a car stereo to end all car stereos.

If you’ve never tried active noise cancellation headphones, let me tell you that they are nothing short of amazing.   What they do is “listen” to ambient noise and actively produce anti-waves of sound through the headphone’s speakers.  When a sound wave encounters an equal but opposite sound wave, the result is silence – they cancel each other out.  How Stuff Works has a cool explanation here.

So, I started day-dreaming of constructing a huge car stereo version of this same concept.  I would then drive around looking for these annoying jerks with their sub-sonic irritants and laugh my butt off when I create a sudden “cone of silence” and they can’t hear their “music” anymore.  They continue to turn it up in an effort to hear it until POP – they blow their speakers out. Mu-hahahahahaha

Silly, I know – but a guy can dream right?